


The Default State of the Penthouse is Chaos

by RavenpuffWrites



Series: Must Have Done Something Right [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: FAHC, Fake AH Crew, Genderfluid Jack, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Non-Binary Gavin, Non-Binary Jeremy, Other, Platonic Relationships, Ryan continues to be an idiot when it comes to people caring about him, Trans Michael, Trans Ryan, chat fic, mostly fluff and humor, there's a little bit of angst at the end?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:29:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22741780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenpuffWrites/pseuds/RavenpuffWrites
Summary: CrewDad: No. No murderLovelyRyan: :( :(LovelyRyan: Not even a little?CrewDad: No.
Relationships: Jeremy Dooley & Gavin Free & Ryan Haywood
Series: Must Have Done Something Right [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606528
Comments: 8
Kudos: 67





	The Default State of the Penthouse is Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> Jeremy uses xe/xem/xyr/xemself  
> Jack uses she/they  
> Gav uses so/sol/sols/solaireself
> 
> Gavin: GoldenBoi  
> Jeremy: TimothyRimothy  
> Michael: Mogar  
> Ryan: LovelyRyan  
> Jack: CrewMom  
> Trevor: NotTrevor  
> Alfredo: DefinitelyTrevor  
> Geoff: CrewDad  
> Lindsay: WildCard  
> Fiona: SuperNova

**CrewMom:** It’s really not a day in the penthouse if you don’t wake up to _someone_ screaming at Gavin

**CrewMom:** And it’s really not a week in the penthouse unless there’s a least one day Jeremy is also being yelled at.

**WildCard:** And that is why I no longer live in the penthouse.

**CrewMom:** Consider yourself lucky.

**SuperNova:** Should I ask what those idiots did today?

**Mogar:** They got caught messing with Ryan’s plants

**NotTrevor:** So the worst thing they could have ever done, basically?

**Mogar:** According to Ryan yeah.

**CrewMom:** They refuse to admit what they’ve done.

**CrewMom:** Jeremy and Gavin just keep giggling and telling him to go look but Ryan is _pissed._

**CrewMom:** “I swear to fucking god, if even there is even the tiniest bit of damage, I’m talking one fucking leaf out of place-”

**Mogar:** He didn’t even finish his threat and I don’t know if it’s from anger or because he can’t actually hurt them

**CrewMom:** They were giving him their best “please don’t hate me” faces so probably the second one

**Mogar:** God who knew the Vagabond was so fucking soft. I thought we were getting a killer, not a puppy dog.

**TimothyRimothy:** Oh well that was your mistake

**TimothyRimothy:** Ry’s basically the softest person in the world when he’s off duty

**Mogar:** Trevor should have done his damn research first

**NotTrevor:** I did my research thank you very much

**NotTrevor:** I saw a bulletin advertising their services and showed Geoff a photo and he thought it was good enough to call the number so I did

**Mogar:** So your research was Geoff’s opinion?

**NotTrevor:** yes

**Mogar:** idiot

**TimothyRimothy:** To be fair it was a very convincing billboard.

**TimothyRimothy:** “Are you injured? Or know someone who is? Do you need someone injured? Call Us.”

**Mogar:** Are you fucking serious?

**TimothyRimothy:** We got a lot of calls from that ad, believe it or not.

**Mogar:** Trevor how could you see that and not think these two were idiots?

**NotTrevor:** I saw that and thought they would be a good fit for the crew. So did Geoff.

**NotTrevor:** And we clearly weren’t wrong, were we?

**LovelyRyan:** Did you fucks spray paint names on to my plants?!

**Mogar:** clearly

**GoldenBoi:** Jeremy, he’s on to us Jeremy!

**TimothyRimothy:** Shit Gav 

**LovelyRyan:** You motherfuckers

**GoldenBoi:** It’s just on the pots, Ryan, not on the plants

**LovelyRyan:** you spray painted my plants

**CrewMom:** No killing in the penthouse

**DefinitelyTrevor:** I like how Jack specifically says “in the penthouse”

**DefinitelyTrevor:** Killing outside of the penthouse is fine

**CrewMom:** As long as I don’t have to clean it up

**LovelyRyan:** There won’t be anything to clean up

**CrewDad:** No, no killing each other period

**CrewDad:** I don’t care where you are, the murder of your co-workers is bad

**LovelyRyan:** But they messed with my plants

**CrewDad:** No. No murder

**LovelyRyan:** :( :(

**LovelyRyan:** Not even a little?

**CrewDad:** No.

**LovelyRyan:** you’re no fun

* * *

**DefinitelyTrevor:** Wait are we just going to ignore that Ryan and Jeremy were advertising their services on a billboard before they got hired?

**LovelyRyan:** Oh it wasn’t just a billboard.

**LovelyRyan:** We had commercials too.

**TimothyRimothy:** Flyers

**LovelyRyan:** Newspaper ads

**TimothyRimothy:** Some of those annoying ass pop-ups you get when you don’t have ad-block because you’re an animal

**LovelyRyan:** spam emails, ooh that was a good one

**DefinitelyTrevor:** Fucking- What? Why?

**TimothyRimothy:** We needed jobs

**LovelyRyan:** The agency fell apart, we were broke, and it’s not like we had anything better to do

**TimothyRimothy:** We figured it would get a crew’s attention sooner or later

**TimothyRimothy:** And I mean it worked. We’re here now aren’t we?

**DefinitelyTrevor:** That is… fucking bizarre

**LovelyRyan:** Look you got hired because the police mistook you for Trevor so I don’t want to hear this “bizarre” shit over how we got hired, alright?

* * *

**CrewMom:** Today in the penthouse: Gavin is yelling at Ryan for a change.

**WildCard:** It was only a matter of time

**SuperNova:** Someone needs to yell at Ryan to keep him in his place.

**CrewDad:** Are those idiots yelling about milk?

**CrewMom:** Yes

**SuperNova:** Milk??

**CrewMom:** Ryan is drinking milk and Gavin is not happy.

**CrewMom:** Gavin: “Ryan, stop drinking milk, Ryan! It’s literally just straight up milk, you don’t even put anything in it! You don’t even put anything in it, Ryan!”

**WildCard:** Heathen

**CrewMom:** Ryan: “What do you mean?”

**CrewMom:** Jeremy: “Like cookies”

**CrewMom:** Gavin: “You don’t even put anything in it! You don’t even but strawberry stuff in it! Or chocolate stuff! Or anything!”

**SuperNova:** “Strawberry stuff” Gavin wtf

**SuperNova:** God so’s such an idiot

**WildCard:** But so’s making good points

**CrewMom:** Ryan: “We don’t have any strawberry stuff or chocolate stuff cause I would!”

**CrewMom:** Gavin: “Then go buy some! Stop drinking normal milk! Are you-Are you a criminal?”

**CrewMom:** I wish you could see the look on Ryan’s face right now it is priceless

**CrewMom:** Ryan: “Gavin… we’re all criminals.”

**CrewMom:** Jeremy has burst out laughing

**CrewMom:** Gavin is slightly embarrassed, but attempting to stand sols ground claiming “You know what I meant!”

**CrewMom:** Ryan is smug and proud at his ability to fluster and confuse Gavin

**CrewMom:** Things in the penthouse have basically gone back to normal.

**SuperNova:** Is there ever really a normal at the penthouse, though?

**CrewDad:** chaos

**CrewDad:** Chaos is the normal

* * *

**LovelyRyan:** Mugger’s reactions when they realize I’m the Vagabond and they’ve royally fucked up really make my day

**LovelyRyan:** The reaction is even better when, after they come to this realization, I proceed to confuse them by asking things like “Do you want this back or can I keep it?” referring to the knife they just stabbed me with

**LovelyRyan:** And the best reaction comes of course from pulling the knife out of my side, turning it over in my hands as if I’m inspecting it, before informing them it is horrible quality before proceeding to kill them with it

**CrewMom:** w h a t

**LovelyRyan:** _wait shit_

**LovelyRyan:** this was meant for Jeremy shit

**LovelyRyan:** I didn’t get stabbed, that was a joke-

**CrewMom:** …

* * *

**CrewMom:** An early morning update from the penthouse: Ryan is a fucking moron

**LovelyRyan:** Jack no wait

**CrewMom:** Ryan you got fucking stabbed and then proceeded to text me about

**LovelyRyan:** It was a joke, Jack

**LovelyRyan:** I told you it was meant for Jeremy

**CrewDad:** Ryan you were stabbed?!

**LovelyRyan:** No!

**GoldenBoi:** Ryan?

**GoldenBoi:** Where are you, Ryan?

**LovelyRyan:** the bathroom

**GoldenBoi:** Were you stabbed, Rybread?

**LovelyRyan:** …

**TimothyRimothy:** Ry?

**LovelyRyan:** maybe a little

**CrewDad:** Fucking hell Ryan

**LovelyRyan:** It’s fine! It’s not that bad

**LovelyRyan:** I have it mostly stitched up already

**CrewMom:** you stitched yourself up?

**LovelyRyan:** yes

**LovelyRyan:** It’s fine Jack I know what I’m doing

**CrewMom:** which bathroom are you in?

**LovelyRyan:** … the front one

**GoldenBoi:** Ryan, why do you know how to stitch yourself up?

**LovelyRyan:** …

**TimothyRimothy:** It’s because he likes to hide wounds so we don’t worry

**TimothyRimothy:** He’s been doing it since we started working together

**TimothyRimothy:** He’s _supposed_ to text me when he’s been hurt even if he won’t let me help him fix it

**LovelyRyan:** I may have accidentally texted Jack instead…

**TimothyRimothy:** clearly

**GoldenBoi:** Ry… you need to tell us when you’re hurt

**LovelyRyan:** I can handle it, Gav

**GoldenBoi:** please

**GoldenBoi:** let us help you

**LovelyRyan:** …

**LovelyRyan:** _Gav please_

**LovelyRyan:** don’t make me promise you something I can’t keep

**LovelyRyan:** I can’t… worry y’all that much, I can’t ask you to help me all the time

**LovelyRyan:** please Gav

**GoldenBoi:** …

**GoldenBoi:** if you can’t handle it, will you tell us?

**LovelyRyan:** I-

**LovelyRyan:** yes

**GoldenBoi:** thank you

**GoldenBoi:** Can I come into the bathroom and give you a hug please?

**LovelyRyan:** I’m covered in blood

**LovelyRyan:** And it’s a little tight since Jack is already in here

**GoldenBoi:** I don’t care

**LovelyRyan:** okay

* * *

**CrewMom:** Ryan is asleep between Jeremy and Gavin so I don’t expect to see any of them until late tomorrow

**CrewDad:** Ryan okay?

**CrewMom:** Physically? It was one hell of a wound but it managed to miss anything important and he did a pretty good job of patching it up

**CrewMom:** He’s going to be in pain for a while but I gave him some medicine so hopefully it’ll help

**CrewMom:** He should be fine though

**CrewDad:** And what about mentally?

**CrewMom:** I don’t know.

**CrewMom:** I’m worried about him, Geoff

**CrewDad:** I know

**CrewDad:** We all are

**CrewDad:** I’m going to talk to Trevor in the morning, I think we should see about finding a therapist for the crew.

**CrewDad:** I think we could all use someone to talk to that isn't one of us

**CrewDad:** And I think we should start doing mandatory self-care, both as a group and separately

**CrewMom:** That sounds like a really good idea, Geoff

**CrewDad:** I’m worried about the entire crew, Jack

**CrewDad:** Everyone carries so much and we never talk about it

**CrewDad:** We all hide things from each other

**CrewDad:** Ryan just slipped up so we noticed

**CrewDad:** But how much is there that _I_ haven't noticed?

**CrewMom:** You’re not the only one at fault, Geoff

**CrewMom:** we’ve all missed dozens of signs of things being wrong because it’s easier sometimes to pretend none of us are lying when we say we’re doing okay

**CrewMom:** We all lie to each

**CrewDad:** It needs to stop

**CrewDad:** we can’t go on like this.

* * *

**CrewDad:** @everyone

**CrewDad:** There’s a new rule in the crew starting now

**CrewDad:** No more lying. When one of us asks you how you’re doing, you respond with the truth.

**CrewDad:** No more saying you’re fine just to make things easier

**CrewDad** : We need to take care of each other. And this is the way we start doing it.


End file.
